DJ Tonga, double chins and dumb dryer jokes!

And back to Wigan we go! So the madness is finally beginning to settle down, my bedbug bites (try saying that 5 times fast!) are slowly healing, and our flat is almost livable again!! You really take for granted the small blessings....until the bedbugs attack! Who would have thought that humility and gratitude could be taught by a nasty insect!? Well, they do say that the Lord sometimes teaches us in mysterious ways!!!! 

The Real Secret Behind English Currency!
So we were sitting waiting for our bus the other night (we've been doing a lot of bus waiting this week!!) and I was staring at my £2 coin! I was looking at Queen Elizabeth and noticed something CRAZY! 

They gave her a double chin on the picture!!

Who gives the Queen a double chin!! If I were her, I would be so annoyed! With that much political influence (yes...there was a small hint of sarcasm there), you would think you would have enough power to get an artist to make a rendition of you that did not include a double chin! Just saying!............

God save the Queen!! And her double chin?!

The solution to double chins??! 

We were sitting in the Chorley flat and the dryer was running and we were talking about dryers for some reason because of it! (don't ask! Missionaries talk about strange things! That is a proven fact! The evidence?.......my weekly emails!). 

Sis. Pongi was joking around and asked me if I could fit into the dryer?! (Teasing me about my awkward, tall, gangly height!) 

My response: "Will I shrink if I go in there?! If I will, then sure!"

Call me the next diet/fitness guru! What am I doing wasting my time getting a kinesiology/PE degree for?! Just pop em in the dryer! Problem solved!!! 

.......Speaking of washing and drying!:

We heard the most hilarious story from a brother in our ward during Sunday school! We were studying Ruth (old testament), so I have absolutely NO idea how this story even came up! Absolutely no relation to the lesson topic whatsoever!!! But when things make us laugh, we do not care about the why's of it do we?! True story!

He was talking about how he had to bury a neighbour's cat at 11:30 at night in the pouring rain, because he was the only religious man in their neighbourhood. Apparently the cat had crawled into the washer and the old couple had no idea and threw their clothes on top of it and ran a load of laundry. Skip the outrageous prices of the pet groomer and just stick them in the washer??? 

That part was actually really sad (poor cat! May he rest in peace!), but the way the man described the story was hilarious! Imagine your elderly neighbours pounding on your door at 1130pm at night, bawling and crying about how they had killed their cat in the washing machine and needed a man of God to bury the cat!

So out he went in the rain to dig its grave and say a prayer for it, while the couple stood in the warm/dry doorway crying and mourning over their cat! Life is sure strange sometimes!!

You know you ride buses WAY too much when...:

You recognize that you've ridden that bus before because you can identify the graffiti on the back of the seats!

Enough said! Only 6 more months until me and a left-handed steering wheel are reunited again!!! 

Country- Specific Insults:

So while we have been staying in Chorley, it has been fun because we have 4 different countries represented in the flat; Canada (Eh?!!!), Tonga, America (Idaho specifically) and Ukraine. We were joking around about childhood insults and then the conversation somehow morphed into us creating silly insults the represent our countries.

Favourites:

- You dumb coconut head

- You sticky syrup head

- You baked potato

- You pathetic perogie! 

Being a missionary is the best! No doubt, I will miss being around people from so many different countries! It is the best!! :) 

White man can't jump!

Well, can't say that I already didn't know that from playing college basketball (the black kids who were half my height could practically jump over my head, while I was proud when my vertical got good enough to almost touch the middle-top of the bball net!) but it was proven once again in a hilarious way at the bus station.

So I was sitting and waiting for a bus (what's new?!) and I always seem to notice the most hilarious things when I'm people and/or animal watching at the bus station! 

Two teenaged boys were runnning across the bus station (obviously running to try and catch a bus before it left). They were about the same height and age. The black kid is first to run across the station (obviously ahead of his friend because on top of jumping, white people also suck at running as well!). He runs and vaults beautifully over the fence that divides the lanes of the bus station-- breathtaking performance! Picture perfect!.....then his white friend comes running behind him, gets to the fence, tries to jump and fails, and then has to awkwardly climb over the fence, almost falling on his face as he slid/fell over the other side of the fence! 

Black people > white people!  This was already my belief, but it was certainly confirmed by a hilarious moment of people watching! Black people are just so much physically better than white people (my bball teammates and other friends will appreciate this! I was always accused me of being the ultimate black girl wannabe! Always rapping, dancing around, trying to touch the rim of the bball hoops! A girl can dream!!!) 

Our new name for our 4- sister companionship:

We were trying to find a name that could represent our weird, 4 sister flat companionship. So we combined Wigan and Chorley. The result?

The Chigan companionship (pronounced almost like chicken!)

You can probably imagine that there were some silly chicken noises and jokes that came with the name! (all of the talking that comes from 4 sisters living together can be likened unto a pack of eternally clucking chickens!)

Seeing the English language through foreign eyes:

You know when you were a kid and you would pretend to speak a language that sounded funny to you (e.g. doing impressions of someone speaking Chinese.). Well, when you get to serve with foreign sisters, you really begin to realize just how weird English sounds sometimes! (I bet Chinese kids do impressions of English people too! I can now say that I do not blame them!!)

Word of the week: Shampoo!

Ok. So what kind of word is that?! Seriously! What was their logic?!

"Ummm ok, so we have this fabulous liquid-ish substance that cleans your hair and makes it smell nice. Oh Oh Oh! I know! We should definitely call it something that involves the word poo!"

So Sister Pongi and I were having so many laughs about this! We were making up pretend advertisements while waiting for the bus. "It's amazing! Just sham that poo away from our luxurious, odorous sham-poo!!"

Want to laugh?! Just go through the dictionary and think deeply about average everyday words that we use! You will be entertained! 

DJ Tonga:

So Sis. P often hums really random things while we are walking around! It is funny and always makes for good laughs. Well yesterday we were heading out to go tracting and suddenly I hear a very familiar sound effect/humming noise from her.

I turned to her in shock--- I just had to ask: "Ummmmm, were you just humming the 'Usher' song?!" 

Suddenly Sis. P bursts out in laughter! Yes, she had been making that little siren noise from "Yeah" by Usher (an absolute classic in the hip hop/rap world). She admitted that she was trying to remember what it was from (in her head, for some reason she thought she was remembering something from an EFY song....and innocently thought she was humming something completely different...don't ask me how that happens!). When I helped her remember what she was humming, she just died laughing!

That's my companion everybody! The little gangster Tongan!!! 

Remixing Primary Songs:

So (once again, don't ask me why) Sis. Pongi had a bunch of primary song lyrics written on a napkin and was singing in the middle of the Chorley bus station (do you see a pattern here yet?! Strange things always happen when we are waiting for buses!). We remixed the "Saturday" song.

Sis. P: "Saturdayyyyyyyy is a special day it's the day we get ready for.....wait I can't sing that Saturday was yesterday....I have to change it!"

Us; "Sundayyyyy is a special day it's the day we get ready for P-day!!"

Missionary jokes= Lame? 

Yup! But it keeps us sane!!! 

Well, that's it for this week (phew! You survived all my bad jokes! Stop right now and give yourself a pat on the back! You've done well this week! Endure to the end as we would often say in missionary-land!)

I love you all! Spread that love! Spread the gospel! That is where the greatest joy comes from! Trust me! I kind of have experience and living proof (all my smiles) of this!!

Hope the time goes quickly for you and slowly for me!
Love you all!!
Sister Martin