Life is beautiful! Life is grand! Life is dandy! How many
other ways can I say that I love my life?! I feel like Ammon today:
Alma 26:1-3
1 And now, these are the words of Ammon to his brethren,
which say thus: My brothers and my brethren, behold I say unto you, how
great reason have we to rejoice; for could we have supposed when we
started from the land of Zarahemla that God would have granted unto us such
great blessings?
2 And now, I ask, what great blessings has he bestowed
upon us? Can ye tell?
3 Behold, I answer for you; for our brethren, the
Lamanites, were in darkness, yea, even in the darkest abyss, but behold, how
many of them are brought to behold the marvelous light of God! And this is the
blessing which hath been bestowed upon us, that we have been made instruments
in the hands of God to bring about this great work.
There is no greater joy than being able to testify of Jesus
Christ every day! To declare that he still lives and changes lives!! It is the
greatest honour and priviledge!
Ok, well time to cut the sap for a bit and get to the silly
bits! I now present to you........the week......sarcastic, cheeky Sister Martin
style!
A Brief History of My Country:
Fact about missions: they automatically make you incredibly
patriotic about your country!
I don't know why! But for whatever reason you suddenly love
everything about your home that you used to hate, simply because it no longer
surrounds you (I guess absence really does make the heart grow fonder!)
Well I was having a I heart Canada moment with another elder
friend from Alberta as we blabbered on about all the things we love/miss about
home! During our conversation he revealed to me a life changing fact about our
beloved land of the "true north strong and free!".
How did they name Canada?: Easy! They just picked a bunch of
random letters and put "A" in-between each one:
C- "EH"- N- "EH"- D- "EH"
Cheesey? Yes! Did I laugh really hard! Yes! Did I feel more
inclined to say Eh for the rest of the day! Absolutely!
Final conclusion and disclaimer about my country: The stereotype
that Canadians are funny and tell lots of jokes is probably true, but no one
ever said that they were funny jokes or free of cheese!! :)
Heart attacking for the realists:
I often joke that I was raised
on sarcasm! Therefore when I get together with other sarcastic people, you
never know what to expect!
We were with a YSA girl the other day and were making hearts
to heart attack someones home! Together her and I gave birth to a genius (or
maybe just weird) idea!
Cut all the sappy love messages and instead heart attack
homes with sarcasm hearts. They could say things like:
"You suck"
"I actually don't like you that much"
Yes, we are weird, but as we envisioned it we found it
really funny picturing the reactions of people if they saw this! When you see a
heart you automatically feel like you should be happy and feel loved, but the
sarcastic phrases would make the moment so confusing and awkward!
Our most recent law suit:
Sister C and I were talking about our favourite desserts and
she said she loves Krispy Kremes. This launched a conversation about doughnuts
and then we made a discovery. Krispy Kreme is the worst name ever! It is the
biggest lie! Krispy Kreme doughnuts are not in the least degree Krispy at
all!
I got her all excited when I pointed out that she is from
America: or in other words-- the land of ridiculous law suits! She could sue
Krispy Kreme for false advertising! Their implied name does not accurately
describe their doughnuts at all!
We laughed, but then realized that people win ridiculous law
suits like this all this time in the USA and thought about the possibilities
for a moment! But you all can relax! We decided not to sue them today! It would
be awkward to sue someone while wearing a badge that says we represent Jesus
Christ! I don't think Jesus would sue krispy kreme, so we decided to put our
retirement plan on the back-burner for now! ;)
The Geography of Chorley:
There is a village in Chorley called Buckshaw village! Based
on our experiences this week, we have dubbed it the following new names:
1. Duckshaw Village: Lately the village has experienced a
strange uprising in its duck population! There are ducks everywhere! It's a
duck infestation! I know what the people of Buckshaw village will be eating for
Christmas this year! ;)
2. Bombshell Village: So it turns out that Buckshaw village
is build right on top of an old bomb-testing ground. There are literally giant
pieces of bombs only few feet below all the nice new beautiful homes! There are
laws here that you can't dig more than 6 feet (or something like that) below
ground because you could possible blow up the whole village if you do! (I
really wish I was joking but I'm not!).
What can I say? Buckshaw Village is "da
bomb"!
Quote of the Week:
"Fast Sunday is slow Sunday!"
Can I get a Hallelujah and an amen!?!?! Funny, yet realistic
description of a classic LDS fast sunday. Between the lack of food and water,
the weird never-ending story testimonies that you always hear at least
once in fast and testimony meeting, and the way time seems to conveniently stop
forever as you wait for your "fast breaking" meal to cook, fast
sunday really is slow sunday!
Elders Vs. Sisters:
Each week we set goals for how many lessons we hope to teach
that week etc. They are a pretty important and big part of missionary work and
are very prayerfully and thoughtfully set......unless you are the elders in
Chorley!
Usually it takes 3 hours to plan and set these goals! The
elders revealed to us the new way that they set their goals last week.
Bubbles.
No joke. They just blew bubbles, and the number of bubbles
that they blew was the number that they picked for their goal.
How many lessons do we want to teach to members this week?
*Blow...."pop" "pop"
"pop" "pop" "pop" "pop" "pop"
Ok! 7 it is!
Wouldn't it be great to be an elder sometimes??!
A note from Isaiah:
Nope. It's not a spiritual thought!
We were talking about 2 Nephi 13/ Isaiah 3 the other day.
This is the chapter where Isaiah describes what people of our time will look
like! We were imagining what Isiah's reaction must of been when we saw how
weird/alien we look now compared to the conservative people of his time.
We joked that he must have left a note for the future
prophets who would translate his words to read:
"Dear prophets! Good luck! Sucks to be you! Love
Isaiah!"
Questions of the Soul:
Fun fact about me! My shoes don't fit me terribly well so I
lose my shoe on average between 4-10 times per day as we are walking. In
typical Sister Martin fashion we were running across a busy street and my shoe
fell off in the middle of the road. I joked after that in that moment time froze
as I pondered: "Is my shoe worth my life??". Sister C pointed out to
me that that was possible one of the deepest questions of the SOLE, she had
ever heard (Preach My Gospel Chapter 5 has a section that talks about questions
of the soul- a popular missionary topic!)
English Hurricanes:
We officially survived our 1st "hurricane".
Everyone was freaking out and saying there would be a hurricane Sunday night.
Turns out a hurricane here just means an average wind storm back home. Phewwww
(I was picturing like Hurricane Katrina when they 1st starting going on about
it!).
We definitely got soaked and wind blown (unlucky for us, we
had no appointments so we had to go tracting in the
"hurricane".....now does that not sound so hard core??!) but came out
just fine :) Strange confession-- after this mission I actually don't mind rain
that much now!
Time is up! I have more stories but will have to save them
for another week! I love you all! I especially love you because despite all my
lame/dumb jokes each week, you still find a place in your heart to love me! ;)
Have a brilliant week!
Hope the time goes quickly for you and slowly for me!
Sister Martin
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