Toilet rolls, Tongan insults and the real truth about a classic church favourite!

What a week! We were so busy this week..............just kidding! To my delight (NOT) I was sick in bed all week. Any RM knows that if you had a gun to your head the gunman forced you to pick between death by monkeys (Toy Story anyone?!) or spending a week in the flat sick, that you would pick the ninja monkeys with absolutely no hesitation! No tv. An impressive selection of 5 cheesey, kill-me-now, EFY songs to listen to and no sign of human life makes sick days for missionaries extremely boring! Of course, when that much time is spent in the flat, there are bound to be some funny/delirious conversations and events to report so here we go :)

Toilet Roll Bowling and Kung Fu:

It's the latest craze that is capturing the nation! All the kids are doing it nowadays! Breath-taking! Adrenaline pumping! Indescribable fun for the whole family! IT IS......Toilet Roll (paper for my N. Americans) bowling!

So earlier in the week (before disgusting, inconsiderate germs invaded my body) we helped clean the chapel! The RS president found heaps of extra toilet rolls in a closet and sent us home with practically a 2 month supply of toilet rolls (SCORE! That is like Christmas in July.....or May.....for poor, penny-pinching missionaries!!)

Fact: I am crazy! My close friends and acquaintances know this very well and somehow love me despite this! Day 4 of being in the house was the day that I absolutely snapped and realized that we could create statues and pyramids using the toilet rolls. So off we went trying to create all kinds of strange, weird shapes and characters. I then had an epiphany!!! (I should have taken our burned out spare light bulb and put it over my head like I did last transfer...but I didn't want to get slapped! My bad jokes get boring to my companions after awhile??...shocker!) It is really fun to build a massive pyramid of toilet rolls, and then use another toilet roll to roll at the pyramid-- like a soft, fluffy game of bowling! So that is how we passed the time :)

Fact #2: It is really hard to get a strike when your bowling ball only weighs a few ounces and is soft and fluffy!

The end?! Not. A. Chance.

So then after I got bored of bowling, I started trying to see what else I could do with our toilet rolls..... Kung fu fighting!! (*light bulb) Obviously!

Fact #3: It is actually fun to throw toilet rolls at each other and see how many different ways you can go all kung fu on them! Kicking! Punching! Head Butting! Maybe I just discovered someone's next FHE activity? Cheap and fun for the whole family! ;)

Johnny Lingo Inspired Insults:

In my delirious sick state, I randomly starting asking Sis. P a bunch of questions about Tonga. And then (naturally) our conversation drifted to Johnny Lingo. We were both laughing and quoting the movie and agreed that our favourite classic line from the movie will always be:

"Muhana you ugly, get out of that tree!".

I love that, that quote seems to be everyone's favourite! No matter what country you are from!

We then started talking about insults we used give to each other as kids. I was telling her the different names English kids call each other. Examples:

- Stupid head

- Bum face

- Stinky pants

.....just to name a few.

I was asking her what Tongan kids call each other and she was telling me all the names that her history teacher used to call them. My favourite?

"You dumb coconut head!!"

I am so jealous that I did not know this insult as a child! I would of been queen of the playground with insults as deep as that! Hilarious island-style, childhood banter!! Love it!

Tongan Companions: Debunking one Hollywood created myth at a time:

After talking about Johnny Lingo, I suddenly had a burning question to ask Sis. P. The Other Side of Heaven was one of my favourite church-ish films that I watched growing up! Since it is based in Tonga, I had to settle something once and for all with Sis. P. My deep, life-changing question?

"Do Togans really belch at the dinner table to show appreciation for a meal? Is that not rude in Tonga?"

MYTH DEBUNKED!

Sister P's response:

"Noooo way! If you burped at the table in Tonga, you would totally get slapped by your parents for being really rude!"

Maybe once upon a time burping was a tradition in Tonga(?), but don't be fooled by Hollywood now! If you burp at the table in Tonga, you will get whooped Togan style (if you have ever seen those massive Tongan rugby players, you'll be smart enough NEVER to put this truth to the test at a Tongan dinner table!)

Animal Noises:

Sign # 213 of sick insanity? When you find entertainment in trying to do impersonations of the strangest animals you can think of!

The animal that stumped us in our game of mindlessness stupidity?

What noise does a salmon make?

We couldn't figure it out! If anyone has any ideas, let me know :)

Well, that's it folks! Time flies as always and my email time is quickly fleeing! Hopefully I will be healthy and happy next week so that my weird stories can be about other people and not me for once!! (Fingers crossed.......says the people with the straight-jackets!)

Love you all! Never forget that!

Hope the time goes quickly for you and slowly for me :)

Xoxoxo Sister Martin