"...And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.": Baaaaad jokes, baaaaaad accents, and baaaaaaa (sheep!)

I'M BEING TRANSFERRED! No. I am not going to Wales (thus the sheep references...I will explain that one later!). I am going to Wigan!! (near to Liverpool--yay for Scouse accents!). I will be serving with Sister Pongi from Tonga! She is from Sister Riley/Burridge's group, so she is about 7.5 months out which means..........THIS IS THE 1st TIME SINCE MY 1st TRANSFER THAT I'LL BE SERVING WITH AN EXPERIENCED MISSIONARY!!! I am super excited for this new experience! It will be fun to just be able to work hard!

This is also exciting for my family, because we have TONS of family history connections in Wigan, so I expect to see TONS of miracles there! What a great new experience this will be!

Sister McD Said Tomato....

...The NORTH AMERICAN WAY!!! She didn't even notice it when she did it, until she noticed me gaping at her in shock! Apparently the Americans are rubbing off on her (I say tomato the English way now....yes, they got to me!).

But apparently she is rubbing off on me even more! My accent has been slipping really bad the last month. It's a bit embarrassing/awkward at times! Sister. McD keeps giving me a hard time about it. She finds it creepy and hilarious all at once. I was reading a paragraph from a study binder the other day and looked up to see her staring at me. She was just laughing and informed me that the whole paragraph came out English. She thought I was joking around and putting on an accent, and then realized that I was completely serious and oblivious to it. Apparently this is what happens when you spend 10 months without any North American companions, and spend 6 of them with Aussies and English people! Oh dear!

I'm going to Wales! Baaaaawaaaaa waaaa baaaa!

So on Friday night before bed I was freaking out about transfer phone calls! I have been in my first 2 areas for a very long time and I'll admit, I was scared I was going to stay in Carlisle for another transfer (1 year and only 2 areas...yuck!). Nothing wrong with Carlisle (it's beautiful up here!), it just gets boring and too easy to be in any place for 6 months! I have been craving to serve in the more central part of the mission my whole mission (I get teased that I have been exiled! I spent 6 months on the very bottom of the mission and then 4.5 months at the very top.....not many other missionaries in either place, so it gets very lonely at times). I managed to convince myself that my days of being exiled were not over and that I was going to get transferred to North Wales and was freaking out! (Clearly I am not the person you should ask for help in an emergency! I'm a right panicker! Go call ghost busters or someone else!!)

I couldn't sleep and Sister McD joked that I should count sheep or something.

Me: "Sheep?! .....Walesssss! Waaaaaaah!!"

We had a silly giggle over that and then I literally started counting sheep for her:

Me: "1 sheep! Walessss! Waaaaaa Baaaaaa Waaaaa. 2 sheep. Waaaahhbaaaawaaa!. 3 sheep...."

So I cried/counted sheep Wales style in preparation for transfer calls the next day! :) I'm a firm believer that we just need to learn to laugh when everything in life makes you just want to cry! It certainly made our night a little better and less stressful :)

Top Quote of Transfer Calls:

I hate it when the zone leaders ask us where we think we are going during our transfer phone calls! The sarcastic side of me gets so tempted to say: "Clearly, I don't know, which is why I am sitting here, freaking out, waiting for you to tell me! So, SO HELP ME, just tell us!". But I like our zone leaders! They are a nice bunch of lads, so I just sit there and beg them pathetically to just tell me my destiny without the dramatics!

Apparently one of our elders hates the suspense as well. His response when they asked him where he was going:

(**In REALLY thick American accent**) "Ummmm! I think I'm going to the Scotland/Ireland mission anddddd I'm going to serve with Justin Bieber because APPARENTLY he is Mormon now!" I wish I wasn't such a closet sarcastic sometimes! He expressed everything I had been feeling that whole phone call (annoyed suspense!)! I loved it! Missionaries have been arguing about J Biebs lately. A couple months back apparently there were rumours that he had to go to BYU or something as punishment for a DUI (I have NO clue if this is right or not! Yay for being completely shut off from planet earth!). It was ridiculous! So many missionaries were arguing about it and betting who could convert J Biebs into a Mormon! Good times! Gotta love the missionary life!

Top Englishman Quote of the Week:

We were at the store purchasing some bookshelves for our house. The boxes were really long and tall and the member who had come to help us get them home was freaking out about whether or not they would fit in her car.

The salesman: (*with a completely serious, stern, classic English pout on his face*): Well, definitely don't put them across the back seat with the ends sticking out each window. Once you get on the motorway and increase speed, the car will just take off and fly!

I love sarcasm! He was brilliant! Didn't crack a smile the whole time! Such beautiful commitment! This is why I love English people!

Missionary Life according to a video-gamer:

Sister McD and I were waiting for a bus and talking about how we have worked through all the 'easy' less actives in the branch now (translation: we have made contact and are teaching all the less actives that are easy to get a hold of and are relatively easy to book appointments with).

Sister McD: "We are ready to move to the next level now!"

Me: "Like Mario!!! Time to level up! Bring on the mushrooms!"

Sister McD and I at the exact same time then bust into a performance of silly Mario music and level-up noises as we pictured ourselves growing into giant missionaries and skipping around Carlisle shooting cute little fire balls and koopa shells at non-members!

I am so grateful that I have a companion that is as big a dork as I am!

Winner winner chicken dinner:

Was at a members home and she was trying to get her non-religious sister to say a blessing on the food. The sister didn't really want to pray (fair enough) but her older sister was being a bit stubborn and said she wouldn't be allowed to eat until she said the prayer. So the sister finally sighed and said she would say it:

The girl: "Dear God. Please let my sister give me my chicken Amen!". She then snatched up the bowl of chicken and ran out the room!

Fair play! We found it hilarious! That is certainly one way to pray! Right to the point! No time for messing about when chicken is on the line! :)

Sideparts and Quiffs:

So there has been an eternal argument between our two elders regarding hair styles! One of our elders has a one-direction style quiff going on (it's a very borderline style; he has the sides of his head cut short, but then has a crazy, super-style quiff that sits on the top of his head. Because the sides are cut, he is barely getting away with his hairstyle). His companion recently started wearing a side-part (it eventually happens to almost every elder! They all cave-in to the sidepart eventually! It just is a part of the culture). They both give each other a hard time about each other's hairstyle and constantly argue about who is right!

After church they were debating about their hair again.

Side-part elder: "BASICALLY! At the end of the day, Jesus had a side part!"

Most random, and potentially inaccurate comment ever, but SO hilarious and such an elder thing to say! I love missionary life!

The only fun part about waking up a 6:30 am for 18 months straight:

Is nothing!....Just kidding! It's actually not that bad! I'm super used to it and actually find myself waking up a few minutes before the alarm almost every day (oh no! I'm turning into my mother!).

This morning at 6:30am we got to call our 14 year old recent convert! She has been sleeping in and missing her school bus loads lately and her mum has been going CRAZY! Suddenly we got the best idea (the 14 year old wasn't home when our plotting occurred so she had no idea!)! Since we're always up every morning, and the daughter is meant to wake up at 6:30am as well, she asked if we could call her cell phone and give her a wake up call on Monday!

And OH BOY did we do it! We sang the most obnoxious, cheesy, intense wake up/good morning song ever! She definitely hated our guts! It was priceless! It certainly put a fun twist on my morning!

Sunday Night Comedy Fest:

Do not asked me how it happened, but somehow our Sunday night numbers report ended up turning into a comedy fest. We called our district leader and his companion and reported our numbers, and then Sister McD randomly started reading a food box that had some bad jokes on them.

Long story short, we ended up swapping jokes for over 20 mins.

My favs of the night:

-Why did Billy sleep with his ruler? He wanted to see how long he could sleep for.

-President Monson, the Pope and a Methodist preacher are fishing. President Monson suddenly realizes that he left his lunch on shore and walks on the water to get it. The pope later realizes that he forgot some bait and also walks on the water to go to shore and grab it. The Methodist preacher then realize he left some line and goes to walk on the water to get it and falls in the water.

Laughing the Pope leans over to President Monson and says "Oops! Guess he didn't know about the stepping stones in the water." Confused, President Monson replies; "What stepping stones?"

-Why is it bad to tell jokes to a group of ghosts?

Because of all the boos!

After our DL told this joke, his comment before telling the next one: "I hope you all can still feell the spirit after I tell this next joke!" (I love bad puns!)

-Why can't ghosts walk straight?

Because of all the boos

-Jesus, the Virgin Mary and the Holy Ghost were planning a holiday:

Someone suggested going to Jerusalem and Jesus refused: "No way! The people were so mean to me there! They killed me and beat me! I'm not going there!"

Someone then suggested a place in Spain where there is a Virgin Mary statue where people come from around the world to pray and worship it. Mary objected: "No way! I won't be able to relax there! People will be all over me and bothering me the whole holiday!"

- Our DL: "What is green and runs through the forrest? A pack of pickles........"

Then our DL commented: "That's not the funny part of the joke! The funny part is that pickles don't run in packs!"

- What is green and goes through walls? Casper the friendly pickle!

I love lame jokes! They are the best!!!! Speaking of jokes I'M STILL WANTING TO COLLECT JOKES!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE EMAIL ME JOKES!!!!! :)

Anyways! Email time is short so no time for a spiritual thought today! I'll try next week!

I love you all! Keep laughing! It's what makes the world continue to turn!

I hope the time goes quickly for you and slowly for me!

Sister Martin :)

...and here comes a ton of pictures!!!!