STILL IN TELFORD!!!

I'M STILL HERE!!!!!! They can't get rid of me that easy!!!!! Telford will officially be my 6 month area! I officially am feeling old in the mission. I am one of the most senior people in my zone (in terms of how long I've been in Newcastle Zone, and even in how long I've been in the mission). Almost all the missionaries I was originally in this zone with are transferred out now; only 2 of us left! All of my original Newcastle friends are gone: Sis. Hansen got transferred to Liverpool zone, Sis. M is in Manchester zone, bunch of other sisters and elders I've become friends with have been scattered across the mission. Time for me to lead the way and step up to the plate! Challenge accepted! It's crazy how fast I've had to grow up in this mission! The other day we were at a meeting in Manchester, and I suddenly realized that I was leading a group of 20ish missionaries through town and on and off buses. How did I go from being a greenie, to being a 'seniorish' missionary in 4ish months?! Scary!

Anwaysssssssssssssssssssssss...... it has been a hilarious 10ish days!!! Sister Riley and I are officially probably the silliest people in the EMM!

Squirrels in Man City:

Sis. Riley saw her 1st squirrel in Manchester last week and went nuts (har har). Bless her little heart! One minute all was well, and the next she was squeeling like a little girl and jumping up and down like a crazy person! Apparently they do not have squirrels in Australia! I definitely gave her a hard time for that one! In all fairness, she did point out to me that if it had been a kangaroo I would have done the same thing..........true story!

This area is a mission paradise:

One day we were walking (as we do all day.....everyday) and the weather was rubbish, so there was nobody around to talk to. As we walked, and walked, and walked, and walked (I sometimes feel like the pioneer children in this mission) we decided to write a missionary rap. We set it to the tune of "Gansta Paradise"........it was inspirational.......it depicted the story of our little lives here in Telford (more fondly known as Chav city!). I'll have to write down the lyrics and send them sometime!

I love this mission more than an American loves his red-neck beard:

- We were on the phone with our district and our DL asked us how we can improve our finding skills. **Flashback to an experience from early in the transfer-- a few weeks back the elders and ourselves were on the train going home from Manchester. Sis. Riley and I were face palming all over the place as we heard the elders trying to talk to people on the train. So painful to listen to: One elder was telling a lady all about the crazy mission rules we have, and how we are not allowed to do anything....he then decided to focus a 20+ min conversation on how he couldn't have a beard, and then went into EXTREME detail, drawling on about the impressive beard he had back home, and the different techniques that he used to groom it........ I wish I was kidding!!!** (flashback over)........ Well, Sis. Riley thought our phone was on mute (meaning we can hear our DL talk, but he can't hear us) and blurts out in sarcastic response to the question (in a super red-neck accent): "Talk about my beard"...........talk about awkward moments!!! We had to do some fast-talking...making up some silly answer like "be unique and talk about things that will grab their attention".

How To Make An Aussie Happy 101:

Just buy them Vegemite (BARF). An Australian sister received a whole wack of Vegemite from her mom.....turns out she doesn't like Vegemite, so Sis. Riley inherited it! She's been craving it for weeks! At our Manchester meeting last week, she had our Assistants try it..........priceless!!! Gag city!!!! Well, at least I have a happy companion, and the good news for her is that she will never have to worry about sharing with me!

Crazy Disco Bell Night:

Every Monday night, the church bells at a massive, ancient, local Church of England go CRAZY. It's like someone is ringing all the bells at once, and at random, in no particular tune! And this goes on for usually 2ish hours!!! We have officially declared Monday nights "Crazy Disco Bell Night". It was cold, and dark, and we were walking home from an appointment on Mon night. No one was around, and we suddenly burst into a spontaneous Crazy Disco Bell Night dance party! Suddenly the bells reminded me of the Mr. Bean Christmas episode, where Mr. Bean has just woken up on Christmas morning, there is Christmas music in the background, and he is jumping around like a weirdo! I pointed this out to Sis. Riley--- turns out she was raised on Mr. Bean too and loves it. So we then decided to change our dancing style, and do the Mr. Bean dance to the beat of the Crazy Disco Bells! How English.....and how appropriate!

Lettuce or Letters?:

Accents are fun. That is what I have learned from being on this mission. Random silly moment last week.

S. Riley: "Do you think we will have any lettuce when we get home?"

Me (with baffled face): "I dunno! Go check the fridge when you get back!"

In Australian, "Lettuce" = "Letters"

We had an excellent laugh about this for awhile! We summarized this moment in one amazing catchphrase: "That awkward moment when your Canadian companion is a pirate..........RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"......I get teased so much for my haRRRsh pronounciation of the letter R.......scaRRRy part is, some of my R's are starting to dissapear in certain words....I'm slowly beginning to go into accent limbo and I am getting teased plenty for it!

We made a deal with the devil:

- We were doing scripture/PMG chases at our Manchester meeting and we won a really fancy oil vial. Obviously- since we are not priesthood holders- we have absolutely no use for it! All the elders were asking if they could have it! So I suddenly got inspired! I happened to know that one of the elders (E. Pratt in the Wrekin area.....which is within our district) makes AMAZING chocolate cake. So I struck a deal with him! He makes us a cake, and he can have the vial!! Lo and behold, he showed up to sport night with a beautiful cake in hand. He had strapped it down to his bike, and biked 40ish mins to our area to deliver it! We were very happy sisters after that!!!!!! 

Poopers Close:

The street adjacent to our flat is called Poolers Close.....we were walking down the street the other day and saw the biggest pile of dog poop I've EVER seen! It looked like it could of come from a horse!!! Disgusting!!! After our moment of utter disgust, I suddenly realized that we were standing on Poolers Close, and tactfully pointed out that we should rename the street Poopers Close..........5 year old humour for the win!

Random side note:

Sister Riley and I spent an hr+ talking about desserts last night........we are pathetic.

Kylie and Shania:

We were at the home of one of the most sarcastic members ever! He thinks it's no fun to call us by our proper names, but has been struggling to decide what to call us. In a stroke of inspiration he decided that he was going to give us names of celebrities from our respective countries. So we are now Kylie and Shania. He was going to call me Celine, but was disgusted with my lack of French skills, so decided that I wasn't deserving of that title. 

Fireworks:

Tender mercies. Yesterday we were absolutely shattered (English- Canadian translation: exhausted!). Just as we finished our planning, suddenly fireworks started going off in the distance. We got to watch an hr+ fireworks show from our table. They were positioned so perfectly that we could see them from out the window! You appreciate life's small and simple moments more when you are out here! :)

Likening ourselves unto new-born giraffes:

We realized something pathetic this morning. Watching us wake up and try and exercise when we are dead to the world, is like watching new-born giraffe's try to walk! We were so tired this morning, and I realized how stupid we looked as we staggered up the street in the freezing wind to go for a jog. The only thing that keeps me sane out here is learning to laugh at life's silly moments :) 

Feeling sheepish:

Sister Riley and I were jogging the other morning and got scared by a post box. In the dark, it looked like a man, crouched over on the side of the street. We both literally screamed and jumped onto the road, going into kung-fu, ninja defense mode. Epic fail. 

Discovering why the ladies are sometimes referred to as knockers: STORY FOR LADIES ONLY

Awkward moment at tea appointment last week. I had gotten up to use the toilet. Upon my return to the table, as I sat down, my lovely ladies knocked all of my cutlery off the table, and almost took my plate with it. Luckily this home was a men-free zone.....I would have felt 20x more awkward than I already did if there had been brethren there! As expected, the sisters gave me the hardest time, and were almost in tears laughing....you can only imagine all the terrible jokes that were make about knockers afterwards.

Lack of miracles this week:

Unfortunately I don't have a ton of crazy miracles to share, so hopefully I was at least able to give you a good laugh :) We've been struggling out here lately. Our teaching pool is small, and we spend most of our time tracting and street contacting with little success. Just a part of the mission life; loads of ups and downs! Miracles are around the corner though...we have a goal to have 3 baptisms before I leave (1 baptism per month in Telford for me!). I'm determined that if we keep working hard that we will eventually find success!!!! Feel free to toss some prayers our way!!! :)

Anyways!!!! Love you all!!!

Hope the time goes fast for you and slow for me!
Sistaaaaaa Maaaaaaaaaatin <3