HAPPY ST. PATS!

Today has been one of the funnest days of my mission! We just got back from a district activity! We went to Lowther Castle! It is gorgeous! The story behind it is actually funny and also sad! In the 1800's the man who bought the castle lived wayyyy beyond his means: he liked to party it up! He owned lots of huge estates around the world where he entertained royalty etc. Turns out he couldn't actually really afford them and therefore left his family with HUGE debt! The uncle who inherited the castle (and the debt....lucky him!) had to sell almost everything in the castle (including the roof!!) and it was left in ruins! They have been working on restoring it for years now! It is looking gorgeous, but still has a long way to go apparently before it's anywhere near its original state! We had so much fun running around for hours on the grounds! The elders were the biggest nerds ever and were roleplaying medieval fighting scenes all day (running around with sticks, climbing up towers etc.). My favourite part was them pretending that elves had invaded and come to attack us. They assigned us all character roles (I was some kind of wizard, one of them was a knight, one was a bard etc.) and we had to battle the elves. Oh dear. Gotta love boys! Afterwards we had a lovely little picnic at the sacrificial altar (a random pile of stones in the middle of a field, that surprisingly really does look like a sacrificial altar). Pictures will be sent home asap!

Summary! Castles are pretty and make for a fab day!

EMM - England Manchester Mission! 

Tracting Haunted Houses!

So we were trying to find a less active member and went to go knock on the door of her supposed address. The house was in the creepiest, dodgiest alleyway ever! Nevertheless-- us being the super missionaries we are-- we marched up the alley and knocked on the door anyways. Suddenly the door flew open a crack. No one was there. Safe to say, we were about to wet ourselves!. There was the most awkward, nervous silence ever and I finally yelled out "hello??". Suddenly a young man in his 20's came to the door with the most sheepish/surprised expression on his face as he explained with a laugh "Ohh. Wow. Sorry. I though you were my mate!". Guess he had been expecting his friend to show up any minute to come watch the football match. He was super embarrassed! I thought it was hilarious! We didn't find our less active, but at least we got a solid laugh from it!

 

My English Challenge:

It is official! Sister McD has officially challenged me to speak in an English accent for an entire day (we were supposed to do it today, but we got so distracted by the castle that we forgot completely). She finds my hybrid accent hilarious (I say a lot of things with a really strong twang in my accent. Sometimes people here think I'm from a different part of the UK)...when she first met me, she thought I was from an Eastern European country. It will be hard, but I love a challenge! I'll tell you all how this goes!!

Sister McD got scared by a jaffa cake wrapper:

Enough said! The funny part about having a deaf companion is that she often doesn't hear when things are coming up on her. We were walking home at the end of the night and a jaffa cake wrapper was being blown across the street by the wind. It hit her leg (she hadn't heard it coming) and she SCREAMED.....and then I laughed (because I am mature and very sympathetic...CLEARLY!). Good laughs!

We went on a sort-of, unofficial, weird, double date:

It is not what it sounds like! So us and the elders got invited to join in on a dinner that the young women were throwing for the elderly people in our branch (i.e. we got invited to the old people dinner). We get there and it's us, the elders, and 3 old ladies and 1 old man (us and the widowers..WOOHOO!). The atmosphere was incredibly awkward. There was old school romance music being played in the background (Frank Sinatra and Nat King Cole anyone?!). Bits of candlelight and posh food. Wonderful conversation (hot topic of the night was knitting--no joke-- and how crazy kids are these days). Just when we couldn't feel more awkward, suddenly a Lion King song comes on "CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT?!!!". The elders and ourselves had to muster all self-control to not burst into laughter about the whole situation. We all agreed after that it was incredibly awkward and that we will never speak of it again!

Speaking of Lion King...:

So I have rebellious hair! It likes to curl/wave like crazy! Sister Riley (love her guts!) used to tease me when my hair would go crazy (almost daily) and I'd get my signature, wind-induced Sister Martin ringlets popping out all over the place (they like to spring out and stick out super awkwardly). Whenever this would happen. she would echo out "mufasaaaaaa!". Well, Sister McD got a hold of this story, and now she does it too. We were walking home from the old people dinner and she screamed out "Mufasa!!!". Then in a random burst of insanity, we starting singing the circle of life during the walk home from the chapel. Beautiful clear sky. Quiet night. My mufasa mane flying everywhere. Who wouldn't want to sing the circle of life?!

Reminiscing With The Elderly:

The old people got invited at the dinner to reminisce about "the good ol' days". My favourite story: One sister remembered embarrassing her mother badly once. She had overheard that her doctor (who was from India) loved to eat chocolate every day. So in the middle of the packed waiting room she screamed out to him, "I know why your skin is so brown! It's because you eat so much chocolate!!". Kids say the darnedest things! :)

My deep insight of the week:

If you could hie to kolob is the marmite of hymns. You either love it, or you hate it! The end!

My funny accent discovery of the week!:

We were getting McDonalds and a 90's song came on the radio. It sparked a conversation about music we listened to as kids. Then Sister McD started talking about how much she loved N'sync.

English pronunciation of N'Sync: "en (like the letter N) sync"

Our pronunciation: "In Sync".

She never knew that's how it is pronounced. I asked a bunch of people how they say it, just to confirm that this is how English people say it, and that it wasn't just a Sister McD thing. When I told her how it's pronounced, she was mind blown! Her reaction: "Ohhhh! That makes so much more sense now!!". I love English people so much!

I ate a kiwi skin this week:

Yes! I am in England, living out the opportunity of a lifetime, and this is the BIG cultural experience I have for you this week! :P Our branch president was talking about fruit and somehow (I don't know how) kiwi's became a topic. He told us you can eat the skins (they are apparently packed with vitamins--*pronounced the English way of course*-- and are really good for you). It sounded disgusting to me (they look all pokey and like they'd be uncomfortable/gross to eat), so of course I had to try it! They actually tasted good, and they are not pokey! I am now converted! Bring on the kiwi skins! :)

Anyways! Email time is short because of all our adventures today! Keep loving life!! I love you all dearly!!

Hope the time goes quickly for you and slowly for me! :)

Sister Martin! 

The District!

Sisters at Zone Conference

Do you know the muffin man...who lives on Drury lane?

Tea appointment fun...

Canada is closer than you think...

I'm not going to LIE, it has been a crazy week filled with cakes and pancakes!

Another week of being sick! But the sun continues to shine on beautiful Carlisle and it gets warmer by the day!! Something that any English missionary is eternally grateful for!!! :)

Not much to say this week! Lots of partying on our end, as we ate about 50 birthday cakes and were blessed with visits from many members! I feel so loved here! It is so uplifting to know that I have so many friends (here and at home) who show their love in such caring ways!

Quote of the week:

American elder talking to Australian elder:

American: "Elder!? What is it like inside of a kangaroo's pouch?! Could you sit in it?"

Aussie: "Eww no! It's all slimy and gross in a pouch! The kangaroos are practically still a fetus when they are in there!"

American: "So do you think you could raise a human baby/fetus in a kangaroos pouch then??! It would kind of be similar to Tarzan when he was raised by gorillas, but different!"

All of us: "Disgusting! You are crazy!"

Sister McD LOVES Air Guitars!

That is a lie! She actually hates them. Like Sister Riley's biggest fear/gross out was chalk, Sister McD's is air guitars! She squirms and freaks out when people do them. I discovered that it is hilarious to chase her around the flat with an air guitar! She just screams and begs for me to stop! It is now my favourite passtime to chase her around with an air guitar, singing acoustic versions of hymns screamo style! :)

Sister McD LOVES our N. American Lingo!:

This is NOT a lie! :) She finds some of our words hilarious. Her favourite discovery of the week?: That we call the chemists a drugstore. She pointed out that calling a shop a drugstore makes no sense, as the chemist sells a whole variety of things AND just the simply fact that it sounds incredibly dodgy! I ate to admit that I completely agree with her!

I love pancake day.....and am never eating another pancake again!:

This is a partial lie! I will eat pancakes again one day...maybe! They have a pancake day here.....legit! But I have never been fed so many pancakes (with maple syrup of course!!) in my life! I can now officially say that it IS possible to OD on pancakes and bacon! Every person we saw on pancake day fed us pancakes! Pancake OVERLOADDDDD!!!!

"Did you know that it is impossible to crush an egg in your hand?":

This is a lie! One of our elders proved this in a grand moment of incredible brilliance! We were making pancakes (BARF) at our district meeting, which of course was on pancake day. Our elder grabs an egg and boldly declares his fun fact of the day: "it is impossible to crush an egg in your hand!". As he says this he is squeezing the egg as hard as possible in his fist! SPLAT! The egg explodes and squirts directly all over the beautiful white curtains that are hanging in the chapel's kitchen! FACEPALM!!! Safe to say, the elder spent most the meal desperately trying to scrub egg out of the curtains, as we lovingly.......refused to help him and laughed at him for being so silly!   .....just kidding! We did help!....After we laughed at him for a solid 10 minutes!!

I am a spoiled missionary!:

This is not a lie! I had a wonderful birthday! "I'M FEELING 22!!!!!!! Oooooh Ooooooooooh!". Pictures from the first party are attached! :) I was treated like a queen!!  Sister McD was away on exchange for my birthday, but OH BOY did she make up for lost birthday time when she returned! :)

This birthday party was put on by a wonderful family in Erika's branch that recently joined the church.

Love you all! CTR! Remember who you are and who you represent (*insert any other cheesey catchphrases that would be appropriate now!). Sorry for the lame, short email this week (I will do better next week when I'm not in post-sickness, post-Mormon missionary birthday hangover mode!)

I hope the time goes quickly for you and slowly for me!

Sister Martin :)

I wrote this poem while I was super sick! I feel it is very inspired. It reflects so many of the lessons I have learned out here and my dreams/visions regarding the potential of the EMM and the missionaries in it. I hope it uplifts you all :)

Fast paced life kills slow paced ways.
Sincerity, love and compassion fades.
The light of new knowledge, replaced by dim voids.
Life's symphony is rushed in a whirr of noise.
How can I slow earth's rotating sphere?
To bask in its melodic rays-- things only God's hear.

Quiet, calming peace is found,
As selfless labours of love abound.
In the hastened patterns of daily choice,
We are defined and love finds voice.
The war may wage, but we control the pace,
As we heed the commander's echo: "Stand fast in our faith!"
No matter the calamity, how trying life's grand plights,
Unfaltered, I find surety in God's symphony of life!

When the tumult of ragged doubtfulness tears unborn dreams apart.
As the enemy fashions footholds in the crevice of deviant hearts.
Think of all your fellow kin, comrades in this desperate race;
Together never cease to hear the guide of the conductor's pace!
With sonorous voices united, you can drown out the tempter's sounds,
Replace clamour with the clarity of His melodious eternal rounds.

Ascend past limitations, that are bound by crooked laws.
Failure to renew resolve breathes reality to flaws.
Vision stems from hope embedded in the base of fear;
Allowed to grow it shatters doubts of the suffocating, self-critical sneer.
The groan of mankind's shortfalls, fill a valued, foundational role,
In the stirring psalms of perfect love our composer has foretold.

Angelic strains of holiness that captivate and allure,
Breathe peaceful tunes unveiled in time -- so intricately pure.
Then a haunting lonely base note, ignites a depressive wave,
That beckons the audience to question, the direction the conductor gave.
Unphased the conductor leads the mass -- the contrasts intertwine.
As the climax builds, the ears behold -- His timing was divine!
Through soulful tears the crowd shouts out: "Bravo, play it again!"
With a humble bow the conductor sighs: "It never has to end..."

It matters not how many ears are receivers of your voice.
Greater men of fewer words cause many to rejoice.
It all began with vision! One passionate soul believed!
And never eased his desperate clasp on all for which he dreamed.
With resources scarce, and faith unbound, he mused with all his might,
Refused surrender to cynical men that lacked his omniscient sight.
Through the bustled saturated streetways, his sonatas fought to be heard.
Too busy to hear -- they fell on deaf ears -- but still, he was not deterred.
He knew his gift could remedy their paltry, limited ways:
"Until they learn to listen, I'll never cease to play!!"

As darkness descended, a concluding note, enveloped the desolate street,
When out of the dark a man appeared and cried at the muscian's feet.
"This morning I felt abandoned, as I kneeled in my meagre abode.
Life's burdens have caused my will to live to rapidly erode.
With a soul decrepit from heartache and all hope for redemption fleeting,
I cried to my maker for purpose, and begged Him to hear my pleading.
Desperate I set out with the intent to satiate my need for relief,
And found sweet solace in this song that spoke to me in my grief.

There are certainly more who silently cry in need for consoling words.
If I join you in this righteous cause your songs will be better heard.
I lack the refinement and eloquence that you naturally seem to own,
But as faith and desire help me change, my skills will gradually be honed!"
There were sour notes and stretched out strings; to learn was a laborious task!
But with diligent study of each small fault, his mistakes did fail to last.
As each day passed the man did find change deeper then foreseen,
He changed the way he saw the world; he could feel life's symphony!

Their serene and soulful songs of care resounded in men's blind hearts.
With each crescendo the masses were moved and desired that they could take part.
The humble muscian's supernal vision was finally taking its flight!
He always knew behind life's clouds there were glorious rays of sunlight.

These struggling beginnings flashed through his mind as he rose up from his bow,
With fire he imparted a stirring address to the vast, adoring crowd.
"Do not forget this moment! Where you heard and felt your dreams!
These defining moments of daily life are greater than they seem.
For when we learn to stop and hear the symphony of this world,
New passion to live life meaningfully is rapidly unfurled.
Learn to love the ups and downs that paint life in contrast!
The crave for gain from lowly states helps motivation last.

Leave this place united! Let your vibrant voices resound!
From sharing inspiration, life makes eternal rounds.
Weakness finds its virtue in the vow to try and change.
Instilling hope in others, will fuel this valiant aim!
Stand up! Cast off the limits! Of colourless, sombre routines.
Purposefully living your days in faith will unlock your far-reached dreams!
Hold fast to your grand purpose! To help life's symphony spread.
And know that as you stand in faith: 'It never has to end!'" 

Beatboxing....BBC style, writing raps and sick....ness!

Sick again! Yay! My companion and I have been locked in our prison (some call it a house) for 5 days! We broke out long enough to send you this letter.....I'll type fast before the surgeon discovers I'm gone and comes after me with a chainsaw ;)

I'm sick. I'm crazy. Example 1:

Sister McD is obsessed with Pride and Prejudice (or really ANYTHING to do with Jane Austen). Luckily I'm also a sucker for unrealistic, sappy, classic English love stories, so I was just as happy as she was when her sister sent us the soundtrack from the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice. She has had it on repeat for a couple of days (we are desperate for new music in our house, so we latched right onto the CD when it came). Anyone who knows me well will appreciate this: suddenly I snapped back into reality (I was daydreaming and just sitting on the couch like a sick, unresponsive vegetable), I caught myself beatboxing to the CD. Seriously. I was BEATBOXING, to classical music. #alltimelow (Do they do hashtags anymore?? Probably not! Oh well!). Sister McD had to accept a long time ago that she has an absolutely ridiculous trainer, so sadly enough, my beatboxing did not even phase her!

I'm sick. I'm crazy. Example 2:

A few of our members have been absolutely ace this week! Helping us out loads! Bringing us goods to keep us sane! We decided it was about time we made a thank you card for one of our families who is absolutely brilliant!!

Now a normal person does the following: Picks out a nice card. Writes a lovely message of gratitude and best wishes for all their good-doing, seals the envelope and calls it good.

Me?: I decided to make a handmade card. And write a thank-you message.....in the form of a rap....that's set to the tune of the Fresh Prince of Bel-air rap. #legit.......Seriously? Does anyone do these things anymore! I would be happy if they didn't! I always thought they were dumb! Now I only use them because they are the only thing left on my planet that makes me feel relevant, up-to-date and somewhat "normal"......ok, lets be real (#realtalk? #hashtag??), Sister Martin and normal never went together!

Prepare your minds to be BLOWN!! Here is the rap I wrote out:

This is a card all about how

Our life got flipped, turned upside down

We'll only take a minute just sit right there

We'll tell you how we became the sisters of this county Cumbri-air

In West Canadia born and raised

That's where Sista Martin spent most of her days

Chilling out, HEALTHY and happy until

The motherland germs got her real ill

When a couple of Scots, they were up to some good

Started doing service in our neighbourhood

They got us all of the goods that this sick sisters needs

Now we're rapping to praise you for all your goods deeds

We're grateful for our friends with mad mormon swag

And kindness so legit, we holla "service hashtag"

We pray for loads of blessings to come for the care

You're giving to the homies in Cumbri-air

You have saved all our butts as you've taken our stress

We thank you again: Yo Burrows, you da best!

We love you so much, and we're so glad you're here

To help us preach love, in the county Cumbri-air!!

Take that Hallmark!!!! Can't touch this!! :P

My inner child was envious this week:

5 words!: Scooby Doo Ice Cream Van!

There was an ice-cream van in the middle of the dodgiest neighbourhood ever, that looked EXACTLY like the mystery machine! It even had the mystery machine written on it. Its music was even less annoying then the other ice-cream trucks here! Us-- being the calm, collected, refined, sophisticated sister missionaries that we are-- frantically chased after the van and begged and pleaded to take a picture with it! SUCCESS! Pictures attached :)

I found the cure to awkward missionary conference phone calls:

Anyone who has served a mission knows how painful conference calls (with zones and/or districts) can be. Waiting 12 hours for all the different companionships to get added to the conference call. This morning I realized a great solution! Just play classical music off your ipod in the background! Sounds just like elevator music! I have converted our district to elevator music as we wait for our zone phone calls to get rolling! Good laughs and soooo soothing!

President Preston's bad joke of the week!:

I LOVE our mission president because he tells jokes that are JUST as bad as mine!!!

"I need some help with spelling! Are any of you good spellers? I am struggling with the word Armageddon........but then again, if I can't spell it, it isn't the end of the world, is it?"

BOOM DOOM CHINCK (drums and symbols anyone?!)

We have Cheesies in our house. They are called Wotsits here. That is a hilarious name! "Where are those Wotsit call them?!"

The end. No further comment!

Best Family Home Evening Idea Ever:

I really probably shouldn't condone this activity whilst I'm a missionary, but it gave me a solid chuckle! Our recent convert family told us about a recent FHE they did. They watched episodes of Friends, and counted how many times a commandement was broken (or was implied to be broken) in each episode! Hilarious! I will definitely be giving this a try for some laughs when I go home (that is...if I ever get brave enough to watch tv again....at this rate I'm going to be mucho awkward RM when I come home!!)

Brits Like Beverages:

Ok, so I already knew this before! But this was confirmed BIG time this week! Apparently people here say if you're sick, it's good to drink lots of Ribena (brand of black current juice). We were out so we asked a member to pick up some. OH BOY did they pick up some. They brought a 2 LITRE bottle of Ribena. That's double the size of our milk! CRAZY!!!! Having not grown up drinking much juice, I don't know what to do with myself at the moment! Safe to say, Sister McD-- my favourite, beverage guzzling Brit--is loving life at the moment!!

You know your members love you loads whennnnn................

We got a phone call a few nights ago. It was a member. Her young boy starting bawling his eyes out after his swimming lessons. She was frustrated that she didn't know what was wrong with him. He apparently wailed out "I WANT TO TALK THE SISTERS". She couldn't get him to calm down, so she rung us on our mobile. Bless him. He had a bad experience during his lessons (the deep end is scary when you're young and small). He wanted to talk to us though...not his mum. After we finished talking to him and calmed him down and she had the phone again, we were all laughing so hard. She put it best: "Most kids cry for their mummy when they're upset.....NOPE, not my kid! He cries for the sister missionaries!"

Celebrate good times.......in the train station?!

At the Preston Temple

One of our elders had a birthday last week! We all went to the temple on Tuesday and had a longgggg, tiring day of travelling home. We were all stuck in the station waiting for our train, when the elder opened up his b-day package and kindly starting handing out some cupcakes to share. What else are a bunch of missionaries going to do in the middle of a busy, cold train station? Stick a candle on it, get a random person to use their lighter to light it up, and sing Happy Birthday with no shame!....And that we did! Good times! We have the best district ever!!

How desperate am I to recover on a scale of 1- onion?

I have heard some awfully strange remedies in these last 5 days! The weirdest? Our elders SWEAR that if you dice up onions, put them in your socks, and sleep with them on, that you'll be cured! They have been harassing me for days now to do it! I almost contemplated doing it last night (desperation at its best). Let's just say, I'm praying HARD that I'll be healed before I have to sink so low as to try something so revolting! PRAY FOR HEALTH PLEASEEEE! I don't want to stink of onions!

The End! That is my week! The weather is gorgeous here! So that is a blessing! There are so many blessings around us! Go look for some this week! I'll continue to enjoy receiving missionary jokes (or really any cheesey jokes that'll make me laugh), as a birthday present to me!!! Hopefully next time I write, I will be virus free and overstuffed with delicious birthday cake!! :)

Love you all!
Hope the time goes quickly for you and slowly for me!

XxX Sister Martin

PS! HALFWAY THERE Y'ALL! I'm home in 9 months! :) :(